In Recovery
by imgoingtocallyoufern
Summary: "I'm just trying to make this work." Collection of post 5x09 Densi drabbles, relating to 5x10.
1. Chapter 1

He follows her towards the front door in silence.

Deeks' breathing is still uneven, and practically ceases to exist each time his eyes catch on hers.

_They're going back to his place._

He's having a hard time believing it, actually. It doesn't seem real. None of it does.

Originally the plan was for them to have a simple date, without any repercussions. A_sorta-kinda _date, one that he could just refer to as 'partners going out to dinner.'

_Nothing more._

He's known all along that the act can't be kept up forever, though. The walls are bound to fall down eventually.

And boy, do they come _crashing_ down.

Kensi holds the door open for him with two fingers, and instantly allows them to fall off the handle once he's safely outside. Their gazes meet, and her breath hitches.

_Damn him and his baby blue eyes._

She's practically lost in them.

Regaining an almost regular breathing pattern, she manages to spot her SUV amongst the sea of cars. The restaurant was rather bustling when they'd first arrived, so she'd begrudgingly had to park in the back of the lot.

In this particular moment though, Kensi doesn't seem to view it as an inconvenience.

She just extends one hand towards him without a single word, her expression soft and kind.

Deeks tries not to seem surprised and quickly reaches down, intertwining his fingers with hers.

He slows down his walk and Kensi matches his pace, both people taking their sweet time. Nobody bothers to utter a single statement or term of acknowledgement for what it is that they're_ finally_ doing.

Words would be pointless, really. Just something to vill the void of silence.

Deeks squeezes her hand, smiling just a tad. His grip is warm, soft and light, yet somehow still strong and affirming. As if to show her that he's not going to be letting go_anytime _soon.

Sadly though, they have to part upon reaching the car. Deeks wishes desperately that it's possible for him to defy the laws of physics and continue holding her hand as they walk to opposite sides of her Cadillac, but the possibility seems just the slightest bit out of reach.

"What, er… do ya wanna do?" He asks, clearing his throat as he pulls the door shut. Formulating a proper sentence is becoming quite the trying task.

Kensi shoots him a rather incredulous look, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"I thought it was implied."

"Beers?"

She pretends to think for a moment, her eyes trailing along the roof of her car.

"I was thinking of something a little sweeter."

Deeks furrows both eyebrows, chuckling slightly.

"What? So like… ice cream?"

Just _silence. _Part of her knows what he's doing full well, but a different side isn't completely sure of anything and quickly begins to second guess this new and sudden development in their relationship.

"Deeks… are you really-"'

"Oh, don't worry Kensalina," he says, sliding his upper body partially over the median and almost completely closing the gap between the two of them. "I know what you _really_want."

Kensi's heart rate spikes, her eyes fluttering open and closed. "Y-you do?"

Deeks nods, a cheeky grin stretching across his face as he presses his lips to hers.

"And, like I said before… I do _not _have a problem with it."


	2. Chapter 2

Kensi yawns, squinting at the early morning light, which is already peering in through the shutters. It's not _her _room, she knows that much.

There's also a warmth generating from the person laying beside her- a man with shaggy blond hair, a scruffy chin, and lightly tanned skin.

_Two seconds. _That's all it takes for the memories to come flooding back to the forefront of her mind.

She's with _Deeks._

He's facing her, his nose only a matter of two inches from hers- it's twitching, too. That easily makes her smile.

She's happy, and he's happy. Life's _good._

Kensi's still finding it difficult to believe that they'd finally crossed the line. Allowed themselves to take the dare.

_Years _of buildup lead to a kiss, and six more months of waiting and hoping that someone might eventually break the silence lead to an actual_, real _acknowledgement that they have something. Something special.

One of Deeks' arms is wrapped securely around Kensi's waist, pulling her close to him. The other is resting beneath his head, the tips of his fingers touching the edge of her pillow.

Slowly she intertwines their hands together, grinning as he pulls her in closer at the slight movement. It almost seems instinctive, and she can't help but adore it.

She moves her other hand up to lightly graze over his chin, two fingers brushing over his scruff. Kensi has always known that he's attractive, of course. But as he lays there beside her, their faces just a wink apart, she can't help but marvel at how gorgeous he looks in the morning light.

As his eyes begin to flutter open, her hand drops away from Deeks' face and back to the bed.

"Hey," he says, a cheeky smile forming on his features.

She grins right back. "Hey."

"That was fun."

A smirk is_ plastered_ to his face. Normally she'd hit him on the arm, or tell him to 'shut up' before he can utter another word, but Kensi just can't bring herself to care.

So instead, she nods. "It was."

"Veeeeery fun."

"Uh-huh."

"Almost better than tacos."

She raises both eyebrows. "Almost?"

He closes the barely existent gap between them, pressing a lazy kiss to her lips.

"_Definitely_ better than tacos."


	3. Chapter 3

He catches a glimpse of her distressed features through the window.

It's supposed to be an op just like any other. They go in, get the bad guys, and manage to escape unscathed.

Apparently today _isn't_ one of those days.

Their suspect has just managed to grab Kensi from behind, placing her in a choke hold. Deeks' heart lurches up into his throat, his vision narrowing to pinpricks.

He's always been terrified to see Kensi hurt, or put in harms way. _Always_.

But after the night before, when they'd finally dared to cross the imaginary line that has been separating them for years, he's more protective of her now then ever before.

Deeks isn't sure how it's exactly possible, but still knows that the statement is truthful.

"Kens!" He screams, gun drawn as he runs out after her.

Her eyes are wide with something remotely resembling fear. He doesn't see it often, but it inevitably tends to come about when there's a gun resting about two inches away from her face.

"You don't wanna do this," Deeks says to the man, his tone clearly one of apprehension.

The suspect just lengthens his arm out further, pointing the gun at Deeks.

With a clenched jaw, Kensi mouths the words, _"shoot him."_

He shakes his head once, unsure of exactly what he should do or say. One wrong word could get them both killed.

"I don't have a clean shot, Kens!"

Deeks knows that there's a chance he can hit her- a chance he can _miss. _And if he does allow a bullet to escape his gun and graze her body, Deeks is fully aware of the fact that he will _never_ be able to forgive himself.

She sees him contemplating what to do next, and is certain that he's over thinking it.

"Take the shot!"

He continues to hesitate, his pointer finger shaking against the trigger.

"Deeks!" She yells, her tone more poignant the second time around. "Send it!"

Nudging his head the tiniest bit to the right, Deeks hopes and prays that Kensi will take the subtle hint he's trying to tell her.

She nods once, the movement tiny and barely noticeable. He allows his finger to come down against the trigger half a second later.

Just as Kensi tosses herself out of the way, the bullet pierces the man directly in the neck. There's no point in even checking for a pulse- it's clear by the way he crumples forward that life is no longer inhabiting his body.

Kensi breathlessly hunches over, resting both palms on the tops of her knee caps. She looks up to Deeks, shaking her head slightly.

"That was one hell of a shot."

He's not even gonna respond to the comment, or make some slight in regards to her complimenting him.

Instead Deeks just slips his handgun back into it's holster as he approaches her, moving forward and wrapping both arms securely around her back.

He holds on tightly, not even bothering to think of who might be watching them. He doesn't care if Sam and Callen see. He doesn't care if Nell and Eric hear.

His worry for her wellbeing overrides _every _other possible feeling.

"You okay?" He asks, smoothing out her hair.

She nods against his chest, a hint of tearfulness glistening in her mismatched orbs.

"I'm good."

Deeks exhales. All he can think about is the fact that he almost shot her. A bullet from_his _gun left the barrel and traveled in the general vicinity towards her face.

Just thinking about it gives him chills.

"You should've taken the shot when I first told you to," she adds, her tone sounding surprisingly not angered.

"Maybe," he mutters, closing both eyes. "But I just got you, Kens. There's no way I'm losing you now."


	4. Chapter 4

"Kens?" Deeks calls out as he walks down into armory, awkwardly shoving both hands into his pockets.

He pushes the door open upon seeing her without any ear protection, and assumes it's safe to proceed.

She's not shooting her gun, she's throwing knives_. Of course. _

"Hey."

Her voice is quiet and low, almost shaky. Even from the angle at which Deeks is standing, he can still gather that she's misty eyed.

"You good?"

Kensi just chucks a knife towards her target at the end of the range before she turns around to face him, her aim accurate and precise.

"Not really," she says, crossing both arms.

"And why is that?"

Kensi shoots her partner a look, both eyebrows raised.

"Why do you think, Deeks? You couldn't take the shot!"

"Y-you were right in front of him!" He swallows hard, tossing both hands in the air. "There was a chance that I could've hit you, Kens. So yes, I waited to take the shot."

She shakes her head, extending one arm out towards the upper floor.

"They're gonna know something's up."

"Who? _Sam and Callen?"_

"Yeah, plus Nell and Eric and-"

Deeks slowly takes a step towards her, lowering his voice.

"Why does it matter?"

Kensi opens her mouth to say something, but no words will actually come out. She can't come up with a valid answer.

"Exactly," he says, placing a hand on each of her shoulders. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does."

"Why?"

"Because what if they don't like it?" She asks, a hint of fear creeping into her voice. "What if we can't work together anymore? What will we do then?"

Deeks shrugs, hoping that some of his calmness in regards to their newfound situation will rub off on her.

"I don't know. But whatever comes next… we'll just _deal _with it."

Kensi takes a deep breath, looking to the ground. "I'm not sure how this is gonna play out."

"Neither am I. But I'm sure as hell not losing you. Not now."

She lifts her gaze to meet his, her breath hitching.

"I don't want to loose you either. But I think you're being overly optimistic."

Deeks shakes his head, defiant. "That's not true."

"Than what would you call all of _this?" _Kensi asks, gesturing between the two of them. She can't seem to figure out how he's remaining so relaxed, as she's clearly not.

"I'm just trying to make this work."

Kensi's eyes are glossy, her voice rising.

"It's not going to work!"

He doesn't relent. "Yes, it will."

"How? How can you be so sure?"

Deeks pauses, his eyes beating directly into hers.

"Because I _love you, _Kensi. So that means we're going to figure it out."

She practically turns to mush right there in front of him. Nearly drops to the ground.

"You… what?"

"I love you," he repeats, hoping to engrain the statement into her memory. "So I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make this right. I'm staying with you Kens, no matter what."

She tries to take solace in his words, hoping desperately that he's telling her the truth- because she feels the _exact_ same way.

"No matter what?" Kensi asks, eyes wide.

Deeks nods, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"No matter what."


	5. Chapter 5

_**This is based off of the second promo we received for tonights episode, where Kensi punches Deeks in the jaw. Enjoy:)**_

_**. . .**_

He pulls the front door open to armory, mouth pressed into a firm line as he enters.

The small amount of muscle power it takes in order for Deeks to contract his features is surprisingly painful, and for a moment he ponders why that could be.

_Oh yeah, _he thinks. _She punched me._

And goddammit, it hurts like hell.

"Hey," he says quietly, leaning up against the wall.

Kensi's gaze is firm and hard- he can see her eyes through the reflection in the walls that separate each booth.

She chucks a knife towards her target sitting dormant at the end of the range, her aim incredibly precise.

Shakily Kensi lowers her hand back to the table, swallowing as her gaze finally catches on his.

"You couldn't take the shot, Deeks."

He chuckles an unhumourous laugh, shaking his head.

"And you threw a punch at my jaw because I wanted to keep you safe."

Kensi tosses both hands in the air, letting them fall back to hit her legs.

"What do you want me to say here? That I'm sorry for what I did?"

He nods, showing his palms to her.

"Yeah, maybe something like that!"

Kensi looks up to the ceiling, crossing both arms firmly across her chest. "It's your responsibility to keep us both safe in the field, whether or not I'm your…"

She can't find the proper terminology to use, and it just _kills_ him.

"What? Were you trying to say girlfriend but just couldn't manage to spit it out?"

Kensi furrows her eyebrows, backing a step away from Deeks. "What are you…?"

He lowers his voice slightly, utterly despising the fact that she looks even remotely scared of him. Deeks will allow Kensi to be a dumbass and get away with it, but he won't let himself turn into his father.

Kensi is his girl. So he's not gonna scare her, that's for _damn_ sure.

But Deeks is still allowed to be mad. If nothing else, he's earned the right to feel a sense of anger at her carelessness.

"You wanna know something, Kensi?" Deeks practically whispers. He looks down to his hands, fidgeting incessantly.

"A couple months back.. _you're_ the one who got me through at all… but in that moment, you put me right back in that room_._"

Kensi's eyes flutter open and closed, her tough exterior completely crumbling.

"I…"

She wants to say something to deny his statements, but that would simply be for her own benefit. Deeks is hurting- he's obviously upset.

_And she knows it's all her fault._

"Deeks, just-"

"I never wanted to feel that way again, Kensi. But I_ did._" Deeks scrunches up his face, rubbing the back of his neck with one shaking hand. "You're supposed to be my safe place."

Any lingering sense of anger towards him completely diminishes, shame and confusion moving in to vill the void. She begins to wonder if feeling _any _anger at all in regards to their little scuffle that morning was justifiable.

Deeks had just wanted to make sure that his girl was safe, and what had she done in return?

_She'd slugged him._

Tears flood into Kensi's eyes, clouding her vision.

"I'm so sorry, Deeks. I-I wasn't thinking, and it just _happened-_"

Deeks shakes his head, exhaling as his gaze trails along the floor.

"I don't think that 'sorry' is gonna cut it this time."

Kensi comes close to stomping her foot, but stifles the urge.

"Okay, fine. Then what do you want me to say here? What can I do to make it right?"

Deeks' eyes are bright and clear- possibly the clearest she's seen them all day as he takes a slow step towards her.

"I need you to tell me the truth. Once and for all."

She frowns, turning her head to one side. "I think you lost me-"

"No, Kensi. I don't think I did." He takes another step closer, his eyes glistening with just the slightest hint of tearfulness. Most of the crying has subsided, though. His mind is elsewhere.

"I just want you to _say it, _Kensi- whatever 'it' is. Tell me how you really feel. I've said my piece, but you still haven't said yours."

"Deeks, are you-"

"Yes."

Suddenly the space between them has disappeared completely, and their faces are simply a wink apart.

"Say that you're my girlfriend."

Kensi retracts her neck away from him, clearly stunned by the request.

"What?"

"Just say it. Tell me that I'm your boyfriend, and that you're my girlfriend."

_Silence._

He clenches up his jaw, a sharp twinge of pain shooting through his mouth.

Deeks won't let her see how much it hurts, and instead tries to disguise the ache by letting out a rather broken statement.

"But only if you really mean it." He shrugs, almost shyly. "I don't want you to lie to me."

"I've never lied to you before," Kensi says, her fingers gently trailing along the spot where she struck him earlier that day. "What makes you think I'd start now?"

Deeks is almost grinning, but he isn't certain that it's _safe _to feel that way yet. He still wonders whether or not it's a good idea to let himself be relieved.

"So… where does that leave us, exactly?"

Kensi shrugs, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as she wraps both arms tightly around his waist.

"I think I'm your girlfriend now."

Deeks just chuckles, pressing a soft kiss against her lips.

"I guess so, Fern."


	6. Chapter 6

_**5x10 Drabble prompt: Op's over, they saved the planet, Deeks still in his suit, he drives Kensi home, turns on his playful Max persona and starts off with "Now, with this boyfriend of yours..." AND GO!**_

_**. . .**_

Deeks leads Kensi up the front porch steps, one hand on the small of her back.

"Is this how it's gonna be from now on?"

He chuckles. "What are you talking about?"

She motions between the two of them.

"I just mean _this. _You driving me home every night."

Deeks gives her a crooked smile and a quick wink.

"Only if we do what we did last night _every single night_. And I do not have a problem with it, if you know what I mean."

"I know what you mean, Deeks."

"Really? Because I'm not sure that you always catch on as quickly as you should. I've learned from past experiences that Fern can be a little bit slow sometimes-"

She pulls open the front door, stepping inside. "And _Max _can be a bit of an ass sometimes. But I still keep him around."

"Ouch. Is that any way for you to address your partner?"

She tosses the house keys onto her couch, turning to face him. "Like I said earlier, it's complicated."

"It is?"

Kensi cocks her head to one side, thinking. A smile floods her features, both eyes gleaming in the light of the table lamp.

"Well… I guess it's not _that _complicated. I have a boyfriend."

"Yeah, I've heard about this_ Max _guy-"

"Are you really going to speak about yourself in the third person?"

Deeks smiles, mainly because he knows that she's not really Fern, and he's not really Max.

They're Kensi and Deeks, and they are _together. _Boyfriend and girlfriend.

He hasn't fully been able to process it, really. Not yet anyways.

"It seems that I don't need to pretend anymore," he says, winding both arms around her waist. "You're _all _mine."

"I am?"

"Yes, you are," Deeks murmurs, dropping a lazy kiss to her lips.

"Nice suit," Kensi whispers as she straightens out his tie.

"You've already told me that once today."

"What can I say? I think you look rather dapper."

"If that's how you feel, than I'll wear a suit and tie every day."

"I thought it felt like you were wearing a noose?"

"If you want me to wear a noose, I'll do it."

"It's terrifying to think that I have this much control over you."

"Terrifying or wonderful?"

She pretends to think, only for a moment. "I'm gonna go with wonderful, actually."

"Yikes. Now I'm scared you're gonna use this against me."

"Look out, Max. I just might."

"Should I be worried?"

"No, no. I won't try to pull one over on you."

"Right." He cocks his head to one side, grinning. "I mean, you are just a girl after all."

Kensi believes that his comment sounds oddly sexist for a millisecond, but she quickly recalls their previous conversation from earlier that day.

"And you're just a boy. We can get ice cream, go to the movies, maybe drive around in your pickup truck-"

"You know what? That sounds good pretty, Fern."

"Which part?"

He smiles, showing off both rows of teeth.

"Ice cream. Maybe the cold will keep my jaw from swelling up."

Kensi runs her fingers across his chin, furrowing both eyebrows as she stares at the small bruise.

"I'm really sorry about that. I don't know what came over me."

She's already apologized- more than once. He's pretty much over it by now.

And, on top of it all, it gives a great story to tell one day about their '_first day as a couple.'_

"It's all good. I think you just wanted some ice cream."

Kensi smiles, looking down to her feet shyly. "You're probably right."

"I usually am."

"What kind do you want?"

"Well… nothing cures _rocky _like a little rocky road."

She raises one eyebrow. "And maybe another sleepover?"

Deeks drops a kiss to her lips, allowing his face to remain within an inch of hers, even after they've parted.

"That too."


End file.
